TLDR: Since I’ve posted last the health saga has continued, though fortunately my symptoms have improved and day-to-day I am actually starting to feel much more like myself.

The longer version

I saw my PCP again in January at which time she told me she suspected fibromyalgia and me a referral to a rheumatologist.

The rheumatologist did not seem to think there was much wrong with me (no joint disfigurement, no pain when poking and prodding me in various ways)…but mentioned my symptoms were strange. He didn’t have a diagnosis but ordered an ultrasound…which of course my insurance rejected so I’m not sure there’s anything more we can do there.

I also was able to get into the new endocrinologist (who I really like) after a cancellation. He ordered more blood panels and upped my dose of levothyroxine. He also thought my symptoms were a bit strange, though, and not typically the side effects of thyroid malfunction. Fatigue can very well be caused by an underactive thyroid, but the shortness of breath and inability to exert myself when I used to be very active were unusual. He recommended I make an appointment with a cardiologist–which I did and will see at the end of the month. We also officially ruled out COVID-19 via an antibody test.

Even if the cardiologist declares nothing is wrong with me, I do have (mysteriously) high cholesterol and a very high c-reactive protein count (which is linked to an increased risk of heart attacks).

At this stage my best guess is I had a relapse of mono beginning in October which caused the sinus infections, and then post-viral syndrome from mono resulted in the months of crippling fatigue.

The root cause

Why did I have a mono relapse in October? I strongly believe it was the result of chronic stress throughout the COVID-19 pandemic. My anxiety reached a fever pitch (pun not intended) right after my birthday when my symptoms started. Several members of my family were having various issues at the time and without news of a vaccine (yet!) I started to worry we would be living in isolation for years. And then there were the weeks of election stress, an attempted (yet ineffective) coup, and the growing fear that we would lose 10s of thousands of dollars in deposits if we weren’t able to have our wedding in August (still not sure about this one). Writing it all out, there’s little wonder I became so ill.

I have been very proactively seeking to reduce my stress levels. I haven’t had any alcohol in over a month. I started taking live zoom yoga classes in addition to the videos I already do. And if something (aside from things that are absolutely necessary such as work) stresses me out, I leave it. Nick’s been on board and supportive.

And lo and behold, I am starting to get finally heal. I was able to run without walk breaks for the first time in a long time this week. My mood and energy are much improved. I’m even more productive at work.

I am still far from perfect–for instance, I started to have a panic attack when we walked into a too-crowded store before a snowstorm and had to leave. (I also nearly lost it when a woman stood about 6 inches behind me in line and did not understand when I politely asked her to move to the tape 6-feet behind me….but for real where have people been the last year??) BUT. I am getting better.

This has really opened my eyes to the effects of stress and the mind on the body. I have always know how important a healthy mind is, of course, but now I understand more than ever that’s having (relative) peace of mind is not a luxury. It’s necessary for survival.